My first Stalia Fanfiction: Running
by Nico95
Summary: So this is my first Stalia Fanfiction. It takes place after the latest episodes of Teen Wolf Season 5. Stiles x Malia.
1. Chapter 1

So this is my first Stalia Fanfiction and it takes it's place after the latest episode of Teen Wolf s05e09. I really hope you like it!

Malia was running. Thru the woods. She had the same agonising feeling on her chest and despite how fast she ran the feeling remained. She couldn't run from the feeling of everything falling apart. She felt so dumb for thinking that her biggest problem had been if she was going to pass the summer school. Now everybody were dying and fighting and lying and leaving. And killing.

The flashbacks of her own mother trying to kill her made Malia finally stop. She was breathing heavily, but not from the extensive running. She could feel the anxiety crawling thru again and for a short moment she thought she was going to have a panic attack. So she sprinted again.

After few moment - that felt like ages to her - Malia arrived to well-known house. She didn't stop to think, 'cause if she had she would've probably changed her mind, and jumped to the window. Malia tried to open the window but for her great surprise it didn't open. For a moment Malia balanced on the small window ledge, until s familiar figure appeared on the other side. Stiles looked at Malia with startled eyes while holding one of Malia's highlighters as it would be a weapon.

The thought of him not letting her in crossed Malia's mind, but then Stiles snapped out of it and came to open the window. Malia pushed her way in and after she straightened her back she looked at Stiles with confusion and little bit offended. "Since when have you locked your window?" she asked and let her gaze go thru Stiles' room. She was surprised to notice that the guy hadn't been sleeping but instead had been working on something at his desk. "Since one or two weeks ago…" Stiles replied and awkwardly returned to his desk.

Malia bit her lip. Yep. It was true that she hadn't been coming over so much recently, but she hadn't realized it had been more than two weeks. Maybe even three. There had just been so much going on…

Now Malia felt the pack falling apart even stronger. And she didn't quite know how to cope with the feeling. Stiles felt uncomfortable and was trying to figure out if Malia already knew. Did Scott already tell her? Did everyone know? Had Malia come to say goodbye, if Stiles really didn't belong to the pack anymore.

"Has something happened?" Malia asked and made Stiles flinch. "Has someone died again?" she continued and sounded like she was suffocating. Stiles turned away from his desk and shook his head. "No one you wouldn't already be aware of", he said and felt his heart sinking. He remembered Malia's face and tears at the school, when she said she couldn't handle anymore deaths. Stiles felt the same. But he knew that this wasn't the end of it. He had had this awful feeling that the worst was yet to come.

"But something has happened? You reek of anxiety. More than usual", Malia said and tried to figure it out by looking at Stiles. Stiles' heart sank a little more. "It's nothing", Stiles responded and turned away. He looked at his notes on the table and felt sick for only thinking about everything that was going wrong at the moment. An here he was pushing even Malia away. Now that finally she had come around again.

"I will leave then", Malia said bluntly and was already half way out of the window when Stiles rushed on his feet and plead: "Malia wait!". And she waited. "I know that you are gonna hear this sooner or later and I want you to hear it from me…" Stiles started and tried to gather all his courage. Malia looked at him with her usual stern look and probably heard how fast Stiles' heart was pounding. "I killed Donovan…" Stiles exhaled. He waited for just two seconds until continuing: "I didn't have any other choice. He was going to kill me. He chaiced me to the school library and…" Malia's appearance didn't change at all. "I didn't have a choice. And I didn't tell Scott right away. 'Cause could I have. And he reacted just the way I thought, I don't think I'm in his pack anymore, Malia.."

Finally also Stiles fell silent and just looked at Malia and tried desperately figure out what was going on in that were-coyotes mind. She was most definitely part of the pack and with the way thing between them had been going Stiles only saw one way the situation could be going. "He can't put you out of the pack", Malia said then and just stared at Stiles like he had said the stupidest thing ever. "It was self defence", she stated before Stiles had the time to say anything more. "Scott knows that", She said and slightly nodded her head as if the matter was settled.

Stiles had to smile. What else could've he done? Suddenly it seemed stupid to think Malia would've come to say goodbye or in anyway thought that Stiles was some kind of monster for what he had done. Malia knew that killing wasn't what Stiles does, even though he sometimes joked about it and Malia was okay with it was it a joke or not, in real life he wouldn't do it. Might be that at some point Stiles had forgotten that Malia knew him. Even when she was distant, she still knew him. They gone thru so much together. For a moment it seemed so silly that he had ever kept this from her.

Lead by that feeling Stiles closed the space between them and locked her inside his arms. "I've missed you", he whispered and felt the pain easing from the moment he touched her. "I haven't even realized how much I've missed you with all the things that have been going on…" he continued and tightened his grip.

Malia stood there and silently stared at the wall behind him until in started to go blur. She hadn't realized it either. Or maybe she had, but somehow she hadn't known how to handle all these feelings and she knew that he could make them surface. It was easier to stay strong and brave when there was no one who knew how to make her open up. Even still Malia didn't know how Stiles did it. Even just by holding her he made it impossible for her to hide her feelings. Normally she could hide them even from herself.

"My mom… The Dessert Wolf… She was the one who caused the car accident", Malia heard herself saying and the trembling followed soon after. "My mom wanted to kill me", she said and finally let herself wrap her hands around Stiles. "How messed up am I going to be considering my parents? How am I suppose to live with that heritage?" Few tears got away when she felt Stiles' grip tightening.

Stiles held her for a moment longer until he pulled himself away so he could take Malia's face into his hands. "You are doing just fine. And will continue doing fine", Stiles assured and smiled a little bit. "You are not going be anything like them. You are…" Stiles talked and let his voice fade away. How it had gone unnoticed how much he had missed her. He had been so busy worrying about the people who might judge him for his actions that he forgot the ones that would incessantly stand by his side. "You are going to be just fine", Stiles repeated and something in his voice and look on his face made it hard for Malia not to believe it. "More than just fine", he said quietly as his gaze wandered to Malia's lips. For a short moment Malia wondered why she had tried to endure everything by herself. From the start they had stuck together and that had worked out great. Why did she stop?

"Why didn't you tell me sooner about Donovan?" Malia asked suddenly not realizing how close Stiles was about to kiss her. Stiles snapped back and looked at Malia for a moment until shrugging his shoulders. "Same reason you didn't tell about Desert Wolf I guess…" Stiles said and made Malia frown. She always had that look when she wasn't pleased with not understanding her human emotions. While being a coyote emotions where easy, if you felt hungry you hunt, if you feel tired you sleep. But after starting to interact with other people Malia often found herself not understanding why others or herself acted the way they did.

"You should've told me you were almost killed", Malia said then and gave Stiles a scolding look. But then her eyes showed a glimpse of horror as she thought of Stiles really being killed. Oh how Stiles hoped Scott had seen the situation as Malia saw it.

"We shouldn't keep things from each other", Malia said then but it sounded more like an order than a statement. And again Stiles couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, you are right", he said and came closer to Malia again. The smile faded a little bit as Stiles hesitated if he should kiss her or not. So often Stiles had a hard time quite figuring out Malia's expressions. But supposedly so did Malia as she wasn't that familiar with micro expressions and all kind of hints people gave. So she didn't realize Stiles wanting to kiss her until he crouched over her and placed his hand on her hips. On the next moment she had already put her hand around Stiles' neck and reached to his lips. And there were no hesitations after that.


	2. Stalia Fanfiction: Running, chapter 2

Stiles woke up little before the sunrise and was covered in cold sweat caused by a nightmare. During the summer he hadn't suffered nightmares anymore, but now they had came back again. For a few daunting moments Stiles was terrified of the loneliness but then he heard Malia breathing behind her and felt her hands solidly wrapped around him. The next minutes Stiles just concentrated on slowing his heart beat to it's normal rate and feeling grateful of Malia coming over again this night. She made him feel more at peace than no one else could have at that moment. She was his rock when everything else was crumbling under him.

After Stiles was sure he was calm again, he slowly made his way freeing himself enough to turn around. The task was much more harder than he had remembered, and for a fleeting moment Stiles wondered if Malia automatically held him tighter when he wasn't sleeping calmly. Malia woke up causal of Stiles' abnormal movement and opened her eyes wide open. She held him as tightly as ever and had this attentive look in her eyes. "Are you okay?" she asked and clearly realized why Stiles had woken up.

"I'm glad you came over", Stiles said and touched Malia's cheek, causing Malia finally lighten her grip. Things had gotten so intensive day before when they were talking in the car, so intensive that Stiles had just walked away in the end. Even though he was really relieved that Malia knew what he had done, he still had hard time to deal with it and Malia didn't seem to understand why. Stiles had been sure that Malia wouldn't come around in a while again, but for his surprise she crawled next to him earlier that night.

"Me too, I don't sleep well without you", Malia responded bluntly. Stiles knew that there was some kind of tension between them, but he was glad that it wasn't big enough for her to back away again. Truth was that Stiles needed space for himself to figure out things with himself and with Scott, but at the same time he didn't want to be away from Malia. It was a fact, that they had been drifting apart and though they didn't have that many secrets between them anymore it hadn't mended their relationship. But it was progress that Malia didn't just let him be even after walking away from her. That she didn't just give up on trying to understand even though she didn't understand why this was tearing Stiles apart so much.

"Sorry I woke you up", Stiles said feeling guilty. "I don't mind", she responded and slowly unwrapped her hands around Stiles so he could hold her if he wanted to - which was the case many times. Malia had learned quite fast that even though she was mainly the 'big spoon' Stiles also wanted to do the wrapping sometimes. And as she gave him space Stiles moved his other hand under Malia's head and other on her waist while both still laying on their side.

"Nightmare?" Malia asked after a long moment of silence and Stiles just slowly stroking her waist. "Mm.." Stiles just mumbled and was concentrated on looking anything but Malia's eyes. Malia frowned for a moment and then just gave up on trying to ponder if she should ask more or not, and reached for Stiles' lips instead.

Stiles was confused only for a second until he pulled her closer and responded to the kisses. It didn't take long at all for Malia to sway herself over him and continue kissing on that position - her _and his_ favourite position. Stiles' hands were wondering on Malia's skin and time to time he was lifting his head and shoulders as if making sure they wouldn't break the lip connection at any point.

Regardless how far Stiles tried to follow her, Malia pulled herself up to get rid of her shirt. Before realizing what she was about to do, Stiles frowned with disappointment. After the shirt was gone Malia returned to kiss Stiles' slightly grinning lips. Their bodies were moving on a sync and both knew what each one wanted. Malia pushed him against the mattress with her hips while Stiles tightened his grip on her hips. On a split moment he suddenly swung her on her back and took his place on top of her. But he didn't return to kiss Malia's lips, but instead her neck, which made Malia squirm under him. One nip on the ear and he got himself a growl.

Malia's eyes flashed bright blue and she was about to force him under her again, but she never got that far. Before she could even try to turn him over Stiles had already placed him hands on her wrists and pinned them against the bed, and doing the same with his waist pinning her right against the mattress. Sometimes Malia wondered how Stiles knew her actions and desires before she herself even recognized them.

Later on Malia realized it must have been the look in Stiles' eyes that made her unable to move him, not that much the strength. For a short moment Malia wondered if Stiles was able to do more than just defend himself. If there was some truth behind Scott's uncertainties about Stiles. 'Cause at that moment Stiles' eyes didn't show any weakness or doubt, only determination. And now it was focused on Malia.

Her eyes glared with blue and finally she freed her arms but only 'cause he let her, knowing that they would find their way to Stiles' back. He just slightly bit his jaws together when Malia sank her claws into his back, but it didn't seem particularly painful. More like something else…

Malia pulled him closer so she could kiss Stiles again. And for a moment there was nothing else going on in the world except this. Stiles taking the control. And she letting him.


	3. Running, Chapter 3

Stiles tried on calling Malia for the millionth time, but as all the earlier times it went to voicemail. Stiles felt like losing his mind. He walked up and down the hospital hall and tried to figure out what was the number one thing on his priority list. Every single one of the things that were going on were urgent. More than urgent.

Theo had finally showed his true colours and once again Stiles was wondering if they had ever been in such a horrible situation. Stiles' dad was really badly hurt and now laid on a hospital bed. Stiles was sure that Scott was in trouble, but didn't have a clue where he was. Kira was gone. Lydia was lost. Liam was going crazy. People were dying. And Stiles couldn't get a hold of Malia. Where was she?

"Come on…!" Stiles mumbled while hearing once again Malia's stern voice on the voicemail saying: "I can't pick up right now, try again later". Even though the sentence was totally normal, it sounded all but normal from Malia's mouth. Stiles remembered the moment very clearly when he helped Malia to record that voicemail.

"Why do I have to do this?" Malia had asked and looked Stiles with confusion and irritation in her eyes. "That's just what people do", Stiles had replied and nodded his head for confirmation. "Are people really so stupid that they don't understand that if I'm not picking up it is because I can't pick up?", Malia asked and looked at the phone like it would've been it's fault.

"It is just polite to let people hear you say it", Stiles said and couldn't help but grin. Malia sighed and did as Stiles told him to.

How much Stiles would've given to get back that kind of normal life as they were living just some time ago. Before Theo.

Stiles almost dropped the phone when it suddenly started ringing. The phone jumped four times from hand to hand before Stiles could grab it properly again. Begin of a smile faded, when it wasn't Malia calling.

"Melissa?" Stiles said and forced himself to sit down - as he was making people nervous with the walking and calling. "Stiles?" Scott's mom voice said on the other end. She was shaken up. But who wasn't these days?

"Stiles, I need you to come here to our house", Melissa said and made Stiles heart pound faster. He hated this feeling more than anything. "Is everything okay?" Stiles asked and thought about Scott. Theo had said that he could either help his dad or Scott.

"Yes, I just need you to come over", Melissa said, but her voice told another story. "I'm at the hospital because of my dad, but I will be there in a bit", Stiles said and stood up. "Is the Sheriff okay?" Melissa asked with a fear in her voice as Stiles walked to one of the doors to see his father laying on the bed. "For now", Stiles said and started to make his way out of the hospital. He absolutely hated the feeling of fear every time he parted from someone - the fear of not seeing them anymore.

After fifteen minutes Stiles was getting out of a police car in front of Scott's house. One of the deputies was kind enough to give him a ride, but as he was about to say goodbye to the deputy, Melissa walked out of the house with her coat on her hands. "Let's switch, I'll go to your father as you stay with Scott", Melissa said and shared a glance with Stiles, which showed how well she knew Stiles. She knew he wouldn't want his dad to be left alone.

Stiles wanted to say thank you, but the words drowned somewhere in his throat. Melissa just graced his hand while she pasted him and again, knew what he wanted to say. "Everything's gonna turn alright", she whispered and continued her way to the police car. For a short moment Stiles felt really weak and wouldn't have wanted Melissa to leave. But then he remembered Scott and on the next second he was already sprinting to the house. He ran all the way to Scott's room's door and only there he happened to think that he had no idea what he was going to say to Scott. He remembered their last conversation all too well. Stiles wasn't ready to lose Scott. He would never be ready for that.

"Stiles?" Scott said before the door was fully open. Scott was laying on the bed and looked horrible. There was no question if something had happened. For a moment Stiles got the feeling that he should be grateful Scott was alive.

"Are you okay? What happened? Where is everybody? What happened to you, where is Liam?" Stiles started to blabber. _Where was Malia?_

"You were right", Scott said and silenced Stiles. "About Theo", Scott said and didn't show any kind of strength. He was just totally defeated. "You were right about him all along, Stiles", Scott talked and lowered his gaze. So Theo had shown his true colours to Scott too.

"He turned all of us against each other. Each and every one of us", Scott talked with such sorrow that Stiles got the desire to rub his chest. He could feel his pain. "He broke the pack…" Scott whispered and rose his look back to Stiles. "I'm so sorry Stiles. That I didn't believe you", Scott continued and looked absolutely horrible. Stiles still wasn't sure if he was still dying or if the worst was over. Whit everything else the worst was most definitely not over.

"No, I'm sorry…" Stiles said and took few steps closer. "You were right not to believe me right away", he continued and in turn louvered his gaze. "It was self-defence. I didn't mean to kill him… But I felt good when I saw him dead", Stiles talked and couldn't stay still because of the discomfort of being in his own skin.

"After being the Nogitsune… I don't think I'll ever be the same as I once were…" Stiles talked and forced himself to look at Scott again. For Stiles' surprise Scott didn't look as shocked as he would've thought. "Part of me will probably always stay in the darkness. No matter how good things are, there is this feeling I never seem to shook. The kind of darkness that keeps you awake in night", Stiles talked and somehow for the first time he saw clearly how different he and Scott were. Scott had always been the true Alfa. And Stiles had always had the door more or less ajar for darkness to creep in. He would've wanted to be as good as Scott, but he just wasn't.

"I know…" Scott said finally and troublesome lifted himself from the bed. "I know who you are Stiles". "Among those things you are my best friend and my brother", Scott talked and stood up even when it took his last strength. "And I never should've turned you away like that", he said with pure remorse in his voice. "The only thing I can ever hope from you is that you'd return by my side", Scott talked and looked Stiles straight into the eyes. Stiles heart was pounding fast again, but this time it wasn't the awful kind that he hated. This time it was from joy.

"I never left", Stiles said with a broken voice and made his way to Scott. It was the most natural thing fro them to hug and for just a moment Stiles could believe in Melissa's words. Maybe, just maybe everything would turn out fine in the end…


	4. Running, Chapter 4

"I bet she's fine", Scott said but didn't seem to be so sure of his own words himself. "She said she's fine so let's trust her. She knows how to take care of herself", Scott reminded and made Stiles bite his nails again. "I know she knows…" Stiles mumbled and fought the urge to call Malia again. He knew that most likely Scott was absolutely correct and Stiles knew that they had "more urgent" matters on the hand than finding Malia when she clearly needed some kind of time to herself, but he couldn't stop worrying.

Stiles was very much aware that Malia was having a hard time handling all the things that were going on, but still he hadn't expected this. Her not showing up when Scott was almost killed, when Theo showed what he really was, when Kira had left and Lydia was missing. Malia hadn't answered their calls and finally after a day she had called Scott.

"It's Malia", Scott had said earlier that morning after picking up his phone. Stiles had rushed to him from his desk and knocked the chair down on the way. "She says she's okay and will be gone for few days", Scott talked and looked as surprised as Stiles was feeling.

"Give me the phone", Stiles said and took the phone before Scott had time to do a thing. "Malia?" Stiles said and made Malia pause with her ongoing sentence. "Stiles, sorry that I haven't been picking up", Malia said on the other end of the line. Stiles was waiting for more, but waited for nothing. "I'm fine, I'm going to be gone for a bit", she said then and made clear with her voice that she was about to hang up. "Malia…!" Stiles breathed not knowing were all his words had disappeared. Malia stayed silent for a moment and tried to find the right words herself too - in the end without a luck. "I'm fine, Stiles", she said and hung up leaving Stiles just stand there looking like an idiot.

And there Stiles was, half day later and he couldn't seem to grasp any of the thought going on in his mind. Everything was just crazy and messed up. And now Malia decided she needed some time away. Or worse, she thought she could solve the situation on her own and went on a rescue mission by herself. In the end of every possible scenario in Stiles' head, he was terrified. He wanted Malia back. Back to the pack where she belonged. Stiles need her to come back.

 _"No, I would never leave without you…"_

Stiles made an excuse and exited from the room and went all the way downstairs hoping Scott wouldn't be listening.

"I can't pick up right now, try again later".

Stiles wanted to throw his phone on the wall but really didn't afford to break anything more. "Please leave a message". Stiles was biting his jaws together and trying to control all the anxiety and worry that was roaring in his mind and body. "Malia…!" Stiles breathed out and tried to calm himself.

"You have to call me back. You have to tell me where you are and that you are not doing anything stupid by yourself. I need to know that you are really safe and that you are going to continue being safe", Stiles talked impetuously. _"I would never leave without you…"_ Malia's voice echoed in his head.

Stiles could feel his lungs tightening and he almost had to crouch down and put his head between his legs to keep himself from going insane. "Malia I need you here", Stiles whispered voice breaking. "Nothing is okay, so I need to know you are". "Please… At least call me".

Stiles could feel his heart breaking just a little bit when putting his phone back to the pocket. Why did he have this awful feeling that both of the girls he had even loved, were both nothing but okay.

It was very late at night when Stiles heard deputies mumbling outside oh the hospital room where Stiles and his dad were, and then another one of them rushing away. Stiles made his way to the door knowing that something had happened.

"What's going on?" he asked popping his head outside. The deputy looked at Stiles and sighed a little bit, knowing Stiles wouldn't let him be until he had told him everything.

"They found Lydia Martin", the man said and made Stiles' heart skip a beat. "The dogs found her in the woods. They are bringing her here at the moment. He went to meet them at the door", he said referring to the another deputy.

Stiles didn't say anything just went rushing to the direction where the other deputy had gone. He just got his phone out to call Scott when Lydia was brought in by laying on hospital bars. Stiles bolted to them and already felt somewhat relieved not seeing huge amounts of blood, but the relief faded quickly. Lydia's eyes just stared blankly ahead and lips moved a little bit as she would be talking, but no voice came out.

"Lydia?" Stiles called and touched Lydia's shoulder. She was ice cold and after looking more carefully she was trembling all over. She must have spend the whole time in the woods.

It didn't take long for Scott and his mom to get to the hospital, but they had already taken Lydia into on of the rooms and forbad them to come in. Melissa was the only one who could go in and it took agonizing 45 minutes for her to come back with any news.

"We don't know what's wrong with Lydia. She is in some kind of shock, almost as in psychosis… I called Deaton, but he can't do anything when it was the polices who found her first", Melissa explained. "The only thing I managed to find out even though there was doctors hassling around her, was that she had wholes on his neck. Just like…" "Claws…" Scott said before she could finish. "Theo went inside her mind…"

Stiles had to sit down and lean his head to his palms. Even in the middle of all this he couldn't stop thinking about Malia and where she was. He just wanted to call her again…

After few hours waiting they didn't get any new information. Lydia had fallen in some kind of psychosis and no one knew if she would snap out if it by herself in few hours. Or ever.

Stiles was terribly sleep deprivated, but couldn't even think about sleeping in the current situation. Everything in his - all their - life was going wrong and Stiles didn't feel like he could solve anything. He felt totally and utterly useless.

Stiles opened door to his dad's room, but found another person sitting beside him. Fear was the first emotion, but it changed to surprise and relief very quickly.

"Malia…!" Stiles breathed out and walked to her, but stopped as he saw Malia holding his dad's hand and clearly taking the pain away. "He should be fine in a little while", Malia said, but Stiles already knew that. The injuries weren't that bad and he was just sleeping because of the medication they had given him.

"Where have you been?" Stiles asked lowering his voice. After that Malia freed the sheriff's hand and stood up. "I'm sorry I haven't been here for you", Malia said and moved past Stiles.

"Don't you say that you are going to leave again…" Stiles said and could feel all sorts of emotions getting thru. Malia didn't even seem to hear him. "Once you said you would never leave without me, remember?" Stiles said when Malia had already gotten to the door. This sentence made her stop while hand on the door knob. Stiles wouldn't have wanted to use that, but didn't see any other way to make Malia stay. Even if it was just few more moments.

"I'm doing this for all of you guys", Malia said then and opened the door. Stiles went right after her and could feel the anger shaking his body. "We are your pack Malia…!" Stiles said and didn't let Malia get away. "I don't know what you think you are doing, but I know that it's not the best choice. We should stay together. Kira already left, Liam is in a weird place right now and Lydia might never be back to her true self", Stiles talked and almost bumped to Malia, when she suddenly turned on her heels and looked at Stiles. "What happened to Lydia?" Malia asked and could feel the anxiety rising again.

Stiles took Malia to Lydia's room but they could only see her from the window - they were not allowed inside. Malia almost made her way in by force, but remembered that wouldn't be the best idea at this situation. "Why is everything going so wrong…" Malia whispered after looking at Lydia for some time.

"I don't know…" Stiles responded and couldn't get rid of the anxiety of Malia leaving again even though at the moment she didn't seem to be moving in a long while. She looked like she would've stood there forever if that would've meant that Lydia would answer her look.

"Malia, you can't leave…" Stiles said then and closed his eyes for a moment. "You can't leave us behind". He would've wanted to say "me", but he felt too weak and vulnerable for even one more rejection.

"I just don't want anybody to get hurt because of me", Malia said but this time her voice completely lacked the determination she had had just moment ago. "I would never leave you behind if it wasn't for protection", Malia whispered then and met Stiles' eyes. He couldn't say if she meant all of them or was mainly talking about just him.

"You know the pack is more powerful when it is together and same goes with everyone on the pack", Stiles tried and looked at Malia almost begging. "Anything that it is that you think you are protecting us from.. We can get through it together", Stiles said and was talking about so much more than just Malia's fear of putting others in danger. "You know Scott would say the same", Stiles added and tried to see if Malia was warming up for his begging.

"I know" Malia said finally and moved her eyes back to Lydia. "I just…" she started but didn't find the words. She wanted to say how she didn't want anything more, than to just stay with him, with them and never leave. World was terrifying as it was but much more scarier place when she didn't have her pack around her. She was scared all the time, and even though she knew she should've left and made sure that the Dessert wolf wouldn't find her pack with her, she couldn't move.

It had taken all her strength to stay away, and Stiles' last voice mail had been the last straw. She couldn't stand being away from him. She didn't understand why she hadn't been close to him all the time for the last couple of weeks and now stayed away when it would've made a difference. Now she couldn't find strength to walk away from him. She had felt so alone with all her feelings of fear and anxiety that she hadn't realized Stiles was experiencing them as strongly as she was.

"Try to understand", Malia said then and looked at Stiles again. " _I_ need _you_ to be safe and okay too. Do you understand?" she talked and fought the need of touching Stiles. "And that's why I have to leave", she said and gathered all her strength. It took her everything but she managed to get herself moving and started walking away.

Everything was so wrong. So, so wrong…

Malia could hear Stiles' heart pounding and him breathing disturbingly heavy behind her. Her body was doing the exact same thing and it felt just horrible. She would leave and feel utterly scared again. She was so tired of being scared. She didn't have the strength to feel scared again.

And just like that all the strength she had gathered just drained away and she was left with nothing. She was too weak. As mush as she tried to fight it, she was just too weak. Weak for life.

She could hear Stiles already walking towards her, before she managed to turn around. Stiles closed her into his arms and drowned his face to her hair. "It's okay", Stiles whispered. "You're not suppose to leave without me, so it's okay".

Even though it didn't quite make sense Malia felt more safe in this guys arms, than knowing anyone else was by her side. She made her believe that she still had some strength left in her.


End file.
